How To Teleport
Suspected Paparazzi picture of John Kekston
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little nub? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Doubles Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Shit Fourchan Says, and I have over 300 confirmed dubs. I am trained in dubs warfare and I’m the top Baterman in the entire Doubles force. You are nothing to me but just another nub. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this board, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with not getting doubles? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of shitposters across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the dubstorm, maggot. The dubstorm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can check them anywhere, anytime, and I can get quads in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in getting doubles, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Shitposting Doubles Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your non dubs comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have checked em. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit dubs all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Who is he?[]
John Kekston is currently Kekball world champion